It used to be pretty easy to tell when something constituted cheating and when it did not. It also used to be clear as water when you were being cheated on, but with so many new changes going on in day-to-day life (Tinder, open relationships, friends with benefits, never making anything official), the rules are constantly evolving. Let’s take a look at some situations that people argue constitute cheating but actually don’t.
Being friends with exes
Of course, if there’s a dishonest physical or emotional attachment, it’s cheating. But, then again, that applies to any other friendship. When it comes to being friends with exes, it shouldn’t be a big deal. Exes are such a big part of anyone’s life. Mostly, past relationships teach us, not about other, but about ourselves. When enough time has passed, and only one can really determine this, exes CAN be friends. And when it happens, and they hang out, it’s not cheating. They are exes for a reason, meaning that it didn’t work out and both parties moved on. Actually, it’s better for their current relationships if they can be civil with their past lovers. It probably means there’s no unfinished business. So, get over your SO being friends with exes. They are with you now because they want to.
Talking to people at bars, even flirting
After being in a relationship for a while, you sort of start missing the game. It’s not that your SO bores you. In fact, you probably wouldn’t change your relationship for the world. But every now and then, it’s okay to want to feel like you’ve still got it. Going out with your friends to a bar unaccompanied and randomly striking up a conversation is fine as a long as it doesn’t lead to any physical manifestation. Being flirtatious is also part of some people’s personality, so cut them some slack on this one.
Liking other people’s photos on social media
Definitely not cheating. Liking someone’s photos is harmless. Unless, of course, you have ulterior motives to do so. But even then, it wouldn’t necessarily constitute cheating. It would just be shady. But no, no cheating here.
@thoughtcatalogOn the other hand, if you’re the one doing the liking and the commenting while you’re in a relationship, don’t be stupid. Don’t give your SO a reason to suspect there’s anything wrong going on. Just try to tone it down with the social media.
Having friends from the gender you’re attracted to
If you are a six-year-old reading this, it’s cheating. Otherwise, c’mon. You have friends from all genders. So does your SO. They probably have intergender friendships that are older than your relationship. And guess what? They’ll probably keep making new friendships like this. It doesn’t mean anything, so chill.
@thoughtcatalog
Going out for a beer with these friends
The same thing goes for a one-on-one coffee or beers with a friend. Look, you want your SO to have a life of their own. And you want to have a life of your own as well. Can you really tell your SO everything? Aren’t there some things that you’d rather they didn’t know and that have little or nothing to do with them? For example, you may talk about things maybe they don’t even want to know. But you still have to tell SOMEone, right? Someone who can you give you the male/female perspective. That’s when these friends come in handy.
All in all, rules are generally the same as always: getting physical with someone else, hiding things, being secretive or dishonest about your intentions with a friend, all of that is still cheating. But if you’re doing any or all of the things above and you’re getting accused of being a cheater, share this article with your SO and clean your name once and for all!
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