At the tender age of 19, Pablo Neruda was part of one the most devastating scenarios any teenager can face. After breathing the sweet scent of romantic innocence and the velvety haze of hope, the Chilean poet showed us romantic disenchantment through words symbolizing yelps of pain. Through an entirely melancholic and erotic atmosphere, the writer of these lines captured the deafening shift from romance (or at least the idea of it) to depressing heartbreak. This perspective that explores the suffering caused by deceit serves as an ending to the literary journey titled Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair, a story many of us can identify with.
Having been in a romantic entanglement as such, composed of longing and mirages, shows us that not every ending serves as a lesson for the heart when one attachment to another person is too strong. If we’re lucky we can see the signs that our special someone is not looking for anything beyond some fun times, a hook up, or just considering you a friend with benefits. However if we’re not careful, we won’t see this deceit coming until we’re so immersed in the relationship we’ll have to suffer the consequences and pick up the pieces of our love. So instead of reaching that point, look for any indication that it’s time to run before it’s too late.
If you have any suspicions, prove your doubts wrong or right with the following statements on whether they’re interested or just toying with you.
1. One of the most obvious signs is when you’re talking and you suggest fun stuff you can do together. If their favorite answer is “maybe…” and there’s no concrete plans made, it’s likely he’s not expecting to stay long.
2. They call you when they have nothing better to do. Otherwise they have a tendency to cancel because something came up with his friends, family, coworkers, or anyone else.
3. Is it possible that anytime the word “commitment” comes up, they refer to it as a huge mistake made by people they know, or they make a big deal about how much they like being unattached. Are they trying to tell you something?
4. They don’t just love their bachelor pad, they show it off. They can’t seem to stop talking about how fortunate they are to be on their own, sleeping by themselves, and not having to share any part of it.
5. They don’t text you every day. Obviously we’re not saying your inbox should be flooded with love notes 24/7. But if after three days of no signs of life whatsoever they send a casual text, they might not be that into you.
6. They don’t share anything. Not their space, their keys, their food, their order or mess, their personal items, or clothes even. You might spend the night but don’t expect them to save you a toothbrush.
7. They get jealous of someone else being interested in you but don’t do anything about making your relationship exclusive. They just keep you in an eternal stand-by.
8. Even when you’re next to them, they can’t seem to help flirting with any passerby. It’s like they can’t control themselves.
9. When they’re with friends or coworkers they just introduce you by name. Even if you’re holding hands, you’re just some random person hanging out with them.
10. They can’t bear the thought of using plural pronouns that encompass the both of you. Not just for material things but when talking about moments, decisions, plans, and dreams.
It can be painful and make your heart break into a million pieces. But eventually you’ll be able to move forward. Instead of wasting your time next to someone who doesn’t feel the same way, you could be finding a person who will be willing to share their life with you.
Translated by María Suárez