This is a good one. It’s probably happened to you at some point in your life. Your best friend is blinded by love and doesn’t really see that their prince, or princess, charming is nothing more than a douche who doesn’t really deserve the attention and love of our friend. This is particularly a difficult situation because it tends to cause a lot of problems in your friendship, given that they don’t see why you’re not really getting along with their beloved partner. They might even think you’re just jealous or not giving them the chance they think they deserve. Naturally, there are many kinds of jerks in this world, too many perhaps. But that doesn’t mean our friend needs to be with someone like that. Or at least that’s what comes to mind when we’re introduced to these lovely characters. But what can we do? We feel the need to do something to stop that terrible relationship we’re quite sure will end up with your friend suffering. But, at the same time, we know that acting on breaking them up will definitely mean a serious problem with your BFF. So, should we just let those people poison our friend?
Analyze if that person is really a douche or if it’s just an idea you have
Sometimes we can be very protective with the people we love, and there’s a chance you might be overreacting or seeing things that are not entirely real. If you feel this new partner might not be the best for your friend, think first about the things that make you reject them in the first place. If after thinking for a while you still believe you’ve seen some attitudes that could harm your friend, then all right. But if you just can’t get along with that person, make an effort for your friend.
Don’t be so straightforward about what you think
If you’ve already reached the conclusion that, in fact, your friend is dating a jerk, don’t rush and tell them what you think. The only thing you might win with this is a problem with your friend, thus creating a shield between you. Bear in mind that they might not be thinking rationally enough and that you’re not exactly the most objective person.
Ask your friend what they like about that person
Instead, you can ask them what exactly do they like about this person. Perhaps voicing it might help them realize that the attributes they see in this person aren’t the best. If not, this could also help you see where this infatuation comes from and think how you can help your bestie realize the truth.
Make sure to always reinforce your friend’s confidence
Most douches have malicious minds and their method to make others completely fall for them is by diminishing their partners. They start acting like they’re the perfect partner they will ever find, and when the person falls for them, they start lowering their self-perception to make them think they will never find someone as “good” as them. If that’s the case with your friend, remind them all their attributes, make them realize their worth, and restore their confidence. At the end of the day, they are the only ones entitled to decide about their life, but you can subtly help them open their eyes.
Try having one-on-one moments with your friend
Another technique jerks use is isolating their partners from their circle, especially from those who didn’t fall for their charade. Insist on having alone moments with your friend. However, don’t insist on the subject of their partner. Instead, try to remember all those good times to let them realize they’re missing too much.
Don’t be a hypocrite
The fact that you’re not falling for this douche and that you don’t voice your concerns to avoid a serious problem doesn’t mean you have to be hypocritical whenever you see this person. At the end of the day, you’re dealing with your best friend, and they’ll know you don’t like their new partner. Be honest and just tell them you respect their decision.
It’s normal to be protective of our friends in the same way they care for us. For that same reason, we must be smart in these particular cases that are far from following any logic and where sensibilities might get hurt.
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Images by @ohhcouture
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If you want to know more about these despicable beings, take a look at these:
Love Bomb: The Dangerous Seduction Technique That Only Seeks To Manipulate And Control
How Fear Of Vulnerability Turns Men Into Jerks
Why Loving A Jerk Is Your Ultimate Aphrodisiac
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