I remember the first time I got my period. For three whole days I was screaming in pain. And then on the fourth day, I was yelling out of the pure terror of seeing blood in my underwear. I should note that for all the sex-ed courses my school provided, nothing had prepared me for this. I walked around the entire day as if I’d just gotten off a horse, in a state of panic of anyone finding out about this.
Then, a few months later, as I hobbled over my desk, feeling as if my insides were being torn apart, I was called to the blackboard. When I got up, I heard some giggles from the boys sitting behind me. One of them said, “Hey, there’s some ketchup on your skirt.”
I took off my cardigan and wrapped it around my waist, as I felt my face turning bright red. By then, most of the class was trying to hide their laughs or looks, but it was pretty obvious. The teacher said I could go to the bathroom and “fix things.” I don’t know what he wanted me to fix, since I was wearing a white skirt and, even if I changed my pad, I’d still be walking around with a hugely noticeable stain.
Image by Prabh Kaur and Rupi Kaur
It’s been almost twenty years since then, and I still cringe thinking about it. I constantly hear people saying that we should be proud of our periods. The free bleeding movement has been going strong for a while. Emma Arvida Bystrom’s series There Will Be Blood came out in 2012. And yet I think anyone will understand the feeling I get when I have to take my pad out of my bag and walk to the bathroom. Anyone who is pro menstrual cup will say that I’d save myself that embarrassment. But don’t tell me that it isn’t a little nerve-racking to have to maneuver yourself in a public bathroom stall to make sure your cup stays in place.
The truth is that we shouldn’t be embarrassed of purchasing any feminine hygiene products or carrying them. In fact, there’s an entire situation going on right now trying to prove that these are not luxury items. Just because only half of the population requires them does not mean they are not basic utilities. There’s a current bill in the US Senate that is trying to be passed. What is it asking? Basic rights for incarcerated women, one important point being access to pads and tampons. Not unlike homeless shelters, prisons and jails were originally male-only institutions. Yet, when women became an important part of their population, no changes were made. Senator Cory Booker, one of the politicians leading this bill, addressed the general view of menstruation:
“It’s something that needs to be talked about. People should not be shy about putting it right up front.”
Image by Prabh Kaur and Rupi Kaur
So where do these taboos come from? Plenty argue that it all started with the Bible. It seems that it all boils down to this quote in Genesis,
“Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”
Personally, I don’t know if this passage is referring to menstruation or childbirth. Either way, it’s part of the reason why women have been historically hidden away or shamed while on their periods. In certain circles, Muslim women are not allowed to set foot inside a mosque, participate in fasting or daily prayers, or even read the Quran while on their periods.
Then we get to depictions of menstruation. Bystrom’s photography series was both controversial and considered shocking at the time. The poet Rupi Kaur was censored by Instagram in 2015 after she posted an image of herself in bed with a blood stain on her sweatpants.
Image by Prabh Kaur and Rupi Kaur
But these are recent situations we’re all too used to hearing about. If we go back, all the way to 1970, to when Judy Blume published her famous YA book, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. Aside from the banning and censorship from parent and teacher groups that attacked the novel, the author recounts one particular moment:
“I remember the night a woman phoned, asking if I had written Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. When I replied that I had, she called me a Communist and slammed down the phone. I never did figure out if she equated Communism with menstruation or religion, the two major concerns in 12-year-old Margaret’s life.”
Why is there an entire bizarre mystical thing surrounding periods? It’s a natural human process, even if only half of humanity experiences it. It’s not gross nor contagious. It’s just the way bodies work. Gloria Steinem wrote an essay in 1986 titled “If Men Could Menstruate.” She explains that if men where the ones who got periods, this time of the month would be seen as a glorious and wonderful time. She even argues that menstrual products would probably be government funded and,
“Young boys would talk about it as the envied beginning of manhood. Gifts, religious ceremonies, family dinners, and stag parties would mark the day.”
Image by Prabh Kaur and Rupi Kaur
But sadly, women are alone in this. We have to swallow comments like Donald Trump talking about Megyn Kelly having “blood coming out of her wherever.” This to me was a ridiculous insult. It was no different than those fourteen year-old boys saying I had ketchup on me. If you can’t say words like period or vagina, then don’t pretend to be this big brave individual.
We also have to endure people believing that we cannot be leaders or be functioning people because we have periods. Now, as someone who actually has a history of painful menstruation due to endometriosis, I can tell you that I’ve crawled to class and work and still done what I needed to do. Some women are against other women getting sick leave due to painful periods, saying that we should just shut up and take an ibuprofen. My personal belief is that these women feel that men will respect us more if we hold on to our ovaries and just survive. But that continues to keep our menstruation as a taboo that needs to be ignored and hidden. The only way for us to move on as a society is to stop pretending it doesn’t exist and to actually admit it as part of human life.
So next time someone gives you hell for walking to the bathroom with a tampon or pad wrapper, ask them what makes them so afraid of periods.
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