How To Win Any Argument With Your Partner Using Only One Word

How To Win Any Argument With Your Partner Using Only One Word

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By: mediodigital

February 16, 2017

Lifestyle How To Win Any Argument With Your Partner Using Only One Word
Avatar of mediodigital

By: mediodigital

February 16, 2017

We all wish to be right all the time, especially when facing a crazy battle to win an argument with your partner. Most likely, the two of you won't agree completely during those confrontations; probably you'll end up forgetting why you're fighting or why you insist on winning. Let's face it, most of the times you won't even remember how, when, or why it started, and even the point of these repetitive arguments. The key here is not to let the other one win and show a very important thing: no one can beat you.

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Arguing is always worth it in a relationship. Always. Taking every disagreement to the very end isn't a sign of irreversible breakage or irrational anger. A good quarrel helps forge a couple and establish better understanding between them. No one knows this better than you. You just want to be angry and yell furiously for no reason. You're better than that, and even if your partner is right, you can make yourself be heard and persuade anyone to have a particular opinion just by saying it with the right tone.
Both of you could have solid arguments to defend your case; however, this is really about remarking your judgment as stronger.

The American Psychological Association (APA) has designed a test about victories in arguments, taking the political field of the United States as the setting for their study to conclude how fast and easy it is to win a debate. The secret lies in only one word: How.

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This means that asking how instead of why is the key to becoming the victor. Doing this is really simple. 

Ask them if fighting is worth it

Winning is not exactly about being right, but using all the facts to your advantage. Once this is clear, it's time to listen to the other person's opinion and find the core of their argument. Failing to do this will make it hard for you to debate.

Be cautious about the things you say 

In other words, show them you're attentive and open, even if you're burning inside. A calm expression is the best; don't provoke anger with your body language. Do everything you can to keep them talking, so they reveal all their ideas.

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Detach the person from the problem

Remember that having an argument doesn't have to end in drama. No matter what you answer or what strategies you use, you'll still be in a relationship after the final score. Isn't it? 

Don't let your mind turn cold

In fact, logics and strategy are essential, but emotional intelligence matters as well. Be sure that your emotions are the right ones to persuade or negotiate, and check that the circumstances are ideal, so your arguments are heard.

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Study your argument
Question, debate, and insist on something you're sure they'll want to refute, and make sure their stance is weaker than yours. Once you've done this, and summarizing the facts stated before, throw your stronger arguments.

Grant them something

Take into account that their arguments, solutions, or even their defenses, might be valid. Acknowledge them, tell them how much you value their point of view, and make them feel safe and willing to listen to you.

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Don't get upset and ask questions

Don't be defensive, don't show any evidence of aggression, and don't stress out. Breathe, and then, with a calm tone and showing real interest, ask them about their accusations. How? To be precise, use that word in that situation.

How did you reached that conclusion?

How would you accomplish that idea?

How will you solve this?

How will you prevent this from happening again?

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Generally, these questions can be answered with a vague, yet simple "See? You've no reason to think that" or an "It's not likely to happen, there's no need to worry about it."

It's easy, fast, and best case scenario, you'll still be in a loving relationship. Remember that having the power to show your reasons is great, but not absolute.

If you're interested in relationships, you can go through these articles:  The 5 Sex Stages In A Relationship Every Couple Will Go ThroughThe Hedgehog Dilemma: Why Miserable Couples Stay Together.

El País
APS – Harvard

Translated by María Isabel Carrasco Cara Chards