When you grow up on the border between two countries, the idea of going to a foreign land changes a bit. I’ve had a passport since I was three-days-old. Each time I go and renew my American visa, I’m asked how many times I’ve visited the US, and each time I think that there should be a special format for us. Because I cannot count how many times I’ve walked or driven between the two countries. So when I left home at 19, I never felt like I was leaving my comfort zone. I was going to the place where I’d been spending weekends, holidays, and vacations for most of my life.
It wouldn’t be until ten years later when I actually went to live to a foreign land. I’ve heard people say that it’s inevitable to go through an identity crisis when you find yourself somewhere new. Suddenly all the things you thought you knew are questioned. You start to miss the little details from back home. You find perspective and regain insight into your own culture. You discover how much you love your home. I guess that might be true. But I also realized that it’s easy to skew all those moments of introspection. And that’s what I’ll be talking about today.
The first thing I noticed that both other foreigners and myself constantly did was compare between our life back home and the way things worked in this new place. I’d get upset about the pharmacy or supermarket closing early or not even opening on Sundays. I’d overhear people complain about size of the rooms or rental policies. In hindsight it’s probably important to read about this sort of things beforehand. But once there, there’s really nothing you can do.
Another situation to keep in mind is that there will always be bad days. Being in a different country, among people who may or may not speak the same language, or share particular ideas about life, can sometimes heighten our emotions. I remember that when I was feeling blue or lonely, being away only made it worse. All my usual cheer-me-ups were unavailable. However, instead of getting discouraged, I found new ways of brightening up my day. I found that my favorite way to nurse a downer day was to discover new places by going on solo day trips. It was during these quiet moments that I was able to reflect while expanding my horizons. Instead of staying within the same radius, I’d pick a place on the map I wanted to go and either walk or take a bus there. Ultimately these foreign lands started to feel like home.
When we’re away from our families and our roots, we are given a chance to come face to face with ourselves. We can finally see if the person we think we are is a personality constructed by the social order and ideas we grew up on. We can separate ourselves from what we know. By taking a step back we can start analyzing our beliefs. That’s what ultimately changes us. Regardless of whether we live in this new place for a couple of months, years, or even the rest of our lives, we should be thankful for the opportunity to see a world beyond what we always believed there was.
But, that’s not to say that there won’t be a certain resistance within us. When we’re faced with different ideologies and perceptions, our first instinct tends to be refusal. I can’t tell you how many people go the nationalist route when they’re in a different country. While this is a normal occurrence, because of nostalgia, the problem is when this becomes a constant negative response to everything around you. If this happens, it’s important to take a breath and some perspective. We can’t call ourselves open-minded and then, after witnessing something that’s wrong in your worldview, start calling people out. We need to be respectful to the beliefs and ideas of others. Rather than get angry or upset, allow these differences to become learning blocks.
We all want to travel more. We all want to discover new places in the world. But, there’s more than just visiting. When we actually interact with locals, we get different points of view. That’s why I think it’s important to leave your comfort zone at least once. Once you find yourself balancing what you’re used to with what other people consider as everyday normal, you’ll be more grateful with what you have.
Travel with an open mind. If you’re too busy criticizing, you might not enjoy the view or the experience.
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