I guess you’re intrigued by the title, and you might be asking yourself, “How can you break up with your boobs?” Why would anyone want to get rid of them? Aren’t they part of what makes us women? Well, not really. This common belief is actually another way of diminishing the harsh decision many women have to make in order to survive breast cancer. Although technically it’s just as difficult as cutting off a limb or having an organ removed, a mastectomy comes with additional baggage: it can mean losing part of your identity as a woman. Of course, some people have breasts and don’t identify as women, in the same way that some people don’t have breasts and do identify as women. However, for many people, a mastectomy can be a complex emotional process because society has taught us to believe that this part of our body represents who we are as women.
Now, imagine you don’t have cancer, but there’s still a high probability of developing breast cancer. Would you submit to a mastectomy? Actress and comedian Caitlin Brodnick went through this tough decision that led her through a journey of self-awareness she recorded on her book Dangerous Boobies: Breaking Up with My Time-Bomb Breasts.
“I’m not good at budgets, miniature golf, or handstands, but I am a great friend. As your friend, not only will I tell you everything you could ever want to know about the breast cancer gene and choosing new boobs, but I will also hold your hair back when you are sick, hate your exes without meeting them, and never speak of that one night in Greece.”
With a laid-back and friendly tone, Brodnick introduces us to a serious situation that made her choose a mastectomy as the best way to prevent breast cancer. Like a friend who tells you a story while the two of you are having some coffee to catch up, Brodnick recalls her family history and how she lost some of her closest family members to breast cancer. Concerned about her health, her father asked her to get some tests done to make sure she wasn’t at risk of developing the disease. In an article for Refinery29, Brodnick narrates how, when she got the results, she found out she was BRCA1 positive, which means, it was highly probable she would develop breast cancer at some point in her life.
“Cancer had stolen my loved ones and deprived me of Chanukah parties, sleepovers, and belly laughs. And now it was coming for me. It was right there tapping on my window.”
After doing lots of research and making up her mind, she went ahead with the surgery, reducing the possibilities of developing breast cancer from 87% to a 1%. But making that decision wasn’t as easy as it is to read about it. One of Brodnick’s main accomplishments with this book is telling you about this difficult experience with an ironic and easy-going sense of humor that will make you laugh. The author pokes fun at herself and at others’ reaction to her decision. However, she also shares with the reader the deepest moments of anxiety and fear that come with these health issues.
One of the most important issues that she explores in her book, which came with her decision to get the mastectomy, was “breaking up” with her breasts, and by doing so, breaking with how society defines women. Although, as she states, she no longer misses her breasts, it was a long journey full of doubts and confronting moments before she arrived at acceptance and self-confidence. Throughout her book, she proves that the metaphorical mourning of having this type of surgery, or any other that implies “cutting” or “taking off” something, actually has the potential to let you feel true control over your own body and help you gain power over yourself.
There isn’t just one way to say goodbye to a part of yourself that has shaped your identity for years. But as Brodnick shows us, these farewells don’t have to be moments full of tears and bitterness. On the contrary, these moments of transformation offer us the possibility of becoming a stronger version of ourselves, but it implies letting go and laughing it off.
If you want to know more about Dangerous Boobies, you can check out the book’s website.
**
Here are other interesting reads you can’t miss:
9 Books That Will Help You Overcome Any Existential Crisis
The Book That Will Teach You All You Need To Know About Having A Conceptual Fuck
**
Cover image by Sucker Tom
