We’ve talked about costumes, food, and the origin of Halloween. We’ve shared some of our favorite ghost stories and even told you about Day of the Dead, but we were missing something funnier: Halloween jokes! Halloween is not only about scary stuff, but also about having fun, so here we’ve gathered some of the funniest Halloween jokes and one liners that you can share at the party tonight.
Hilarious Halloween Jokes
- What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.
- What is a witch’s favourite class? Spelling.
- Which building does Dracula visit in New York? The Vampire State Building.
- Where does a ghost go on Saturday night? Anywhere where he can boo-gie.
- The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn’t have one.
- What room does a ghost not need? A living room!
- What do mummies listen to on Halloween? Wrap music.
- Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
- Where do most werewolves live? In Howllywood, California.
- What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
- What kind of dessert does a ghost like? I scream!
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom? He had no body to go with.
- What do you call a little monsters parents? Mummy and deady
- What do you call two witches living together? Broommates.
- What do you call a monster who poisons corn flakes? A cereal killer.
- Why did the skeleton cross the road? To go to the body shop.
- What is a Skeleton’s favorite song? Bad to the Bone
- What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost? You are the most booooooooo-tiful thing I have ever seen!
- What instrument do skeleton play? Trom-BONE
- -Mummy, why do all the other kids call me a hairy werewolf?
-Now stop talking about that and brush your face!
- What is a recess at a mortuary called? A Coffin Break!
- For Halloween we dressed up as almonds. Everyone could tell we were nuts.
- Why are ghosts so bad at lying? You can see right through them.
- What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.
- What do ghosts eat for breakfast? Boo-Berries
- How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle his funny bone!
- What do you get when you cross a vampire with the internet? A blood-thirsty hacker baby
- What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet
- Why do vampires scare people? They are bored to death
- Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? His ghoul friend.
- What dog breed would Dracula love to have as a pet? Blood hound!
- Why did the headless horseman go into business? He wanted to get ahead in life.
- The skeleton canceled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart wasn’t in it.
- What do birds say on Halloween to get candy? Twick-or-tweet
- Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it? Because people are dying to get in.