Love is a complicated matter and if someone knows what we’re talking about that was Richard Feynman. Even those of us who are lucky to experience it during our lifetime can’t truly grasp all that there is to it. For centuries, this concept has perplexed the brightest minds, from philosophers and artists, to the most talented of scientists. Yet, despite the fact that it’s a universal emotion, we’re still dazzled by the way it works. It goes beyond the limits of our bodily perception. Nonetheless, there are some who, throughout their lifetimes, have managed to provide us with insights that unfold some of its intricacies.
Richard Feynman is one of the most praised physicists of the twentieth century. He was one of the pillars in the advancement of quantum science, discovering the path for integral formulation and developing a theory for quantum electrodynamics. Furthermore, he was a central part of the Rogers Commission that had to cut to the heart of the Challenger disaster, studied the physics of superfluidity, and proposed a model for particle physics. He was even part of Robert Oppenheimer’s team at the Manhattan Project that led to the development of the atomic bomb.
Yet, despite all of his undoubtably brilliant contributions to scientific fields, and his disdain towards philosophy, he was a man who discovered a truth that no numbers could ever express. Sadly, this insight is something that he wouldn’t understand through the scientific method, but rather through the experience of a tragedy.
During his high school years, Feynman met a pretty girl who would soon become his sweetheart. Her name was Arline Greenbaum. For years, they were an inseparable couple that wouldn’t need of anybody else to feel happy. It was during their relationship, Feynman discovered his profound interest in nature, which eventually led him to major in physics at MIT. Shortly after, he moved to Princeton as a PhD candidate, promising to marry Arline as soon as he finished the course. But then Arline became ill with tuberculosis and doctors didn’t expect her to live much longer.
Learning about her illness, Feynman ignored his parents’ advice and decided to keep his promise of marrying Arline. After a simple civil ceremony, the couple spent most of their marriage in the hospital. Feynman worked on his research on weekdays and would visit his wife on weekends.
He initially rejected the invitation to the be part of the research for the atomic bomb, in the recently established laboratory of Los Alamos in New Mexico. Yet his aversion towards the Nazis led him to accept the position. Once there, he managed to secure Arline at a hospital in Albuquerque. During the war’s final months, Arline’s health got worse and just a month before the war ended, she passed away.
Losing his soulmate, Feynman grieved her death for years. Yet, it was during this time that he made a discovery that transcends all possible numerical knowledge. For this contribution, Feynman didn’t have to write a brilliant paper. Instead, it comes in the form of a heartfelt letter that he wrote to his wife one year after her passing.
Richard Feynman’s Love Letter
Although the letter wasn’t opened until the scientist’s death in 1988, his daughter Michelle describes it in the book Perfectly Reasonable Deviations from the Written Track, pointing out that it was “well-worn” and that it appeared “as if he had reread it often.”
The letter begins with, “I adore you, sweetheart.” Throughout the first and second paragraphs, he excuses himself to his love for not writing to her before. He then explains that he hadn’t done this earlier because his harsh realistic view upon life had held him back from doing so:
“It is such a terribly long time since I last wrote to you — almost two years but I know you’ll excuse me because you understand how I am, stubborn and realistic; and I thought there was no sense to writing.”
He then explains that, despite how meaningless he thought it’d be, he forced himself to write because he had realized that there were things he needed to express to her despite of the circumstances:
“But now I know my darling wife that it is right to do what I have delayed in doing, and that I have done so much in the past. I want to tell you I love you. I want to love you. I always will love you”.
Later, he explains of all the wonderful things they would do together if she were still alive. However, despite their impossibility to just do little projects, such as learning Chinese or getting a movie projector, he still claims that she is “so much better than anyone else alive.”
You might be interested in:
Hero or Criminal: The Life of Robert Oppenheimer, the ‘Father of the Atomic Bomb’
Mistress or Muse? The Story of Jean Tatlock, Florence Pugh’s Character in ‘Oppenheimer’
The True Story of Lewis Strauss and His Conflicting Relationship with Oppenheimer
