Having a friend with benefits is a very complex topic. Some people find it a healthy and fun activity, another moment of connecting with friends; others, however, consider that it is a red line that should not be crossed, it is the first step to the end of a good friendship and the beginning of unnecessary drama.
However, the truth is that sex between friends is more common than one might think. According to a survey by Boise State University in the United States, among 300 people, cited by GQ magazine in 2023, more than 75% of people admitted to having had sexual relations with a close friend. Which led to the strengthening of the relationship, but also caused misunderstandings or a deterioration of the friendship. According to experts, cited by the same magazine, they say that sex can be better when there is already an emotional bond, but the fact of not having a major commitment or a serious relationship can also help make it more spontaneous or exciting.
That is why sex between friends should be a topic taken very seriously and that is why we leave you a guide so that you can enjoy a pleasant moment with your friend with benefits without drama involved.
- Clarify the Points
This point is quite personal. Think first if you would like to have sex with one of your friends. Analyze the situation at all levels. Why do you want to do this? Is it part of a fantasy, a desire, something you saw on the internet or do you have a friend who has already experienced this type of experience? Do you have a friend that you are sexually attracted to? Everyone has their ideas about sex and their environment, which will help them make an eventual decision.
- It is important to analyze the situation well
This is the part you need to do yourself first. Think about why you would like to have sex with your friends, both in general and specifically. Is this something you hope to make a part of your life because you want to eliminate the assumption that sex is an activity that can only occur between romantic partners? Are you horny? Do you have a specific friend that you are attracted to and like?
This whole question will help clarify the picture around this type of relationship because there is a possibility that you don’t want to take that step, and it is a passing curiosity. That is why it is important to clarify on a personal level to avoid last-minute changes in decisions that cause any incident.
- Select well and ask confidently if they want to be friends with benefits.
In both gay and straight relationships, crossing the friends-with-benefits line can be very complex. You must, therefore, know what type of people the consultation will be made to, eventually, some friends will find the proposal too daring; Therefore, you have to know how to choose the right person. An answer should not be taken for granted. The proposal must be as clear as possible and put all the points on the table to avoid misunderstandings and to fully enjoy the moments for the enjoyment of two or more people.
- Never Lie
Although it goes without saying, that sincerity is always a plus, just like the everyday nature of friendship, sex also implies a commitment by the participants to emotional responsibility and the agreements that have been reached.
- Set Rules
After the parties have accepted, it is important to establish and accept the basic rules to organize the dynamics of the meetings, under what conditions, and under what circumstances. At the same time, the limits that should not be crossed imply the loss of friendship.
- Reevaluate when necessary
Is sex more important than friendship? It is a question that must be constantly asked to constantly reevaluate the health of the friendship with benefits, as well as update the rules of the game: no jealousy, time is respected, and no complaints about last-minute changes. Always reconsidering the initial plan will always be positive for the parties.
- Have fun, enjoy, and stay friends
Once all the points have been clarified, it is time to enjoy and not be inhibited by limiting the sexual relationship because it is not a couple. This doesn’t make it any less fun, practice consent, listen, be honest accept feedback maturely, and respect the friendship.
This story was written in Spanish by Daniel Matute in Cultura Colectiva.
