A penis is a many-splendored thing. It’s very resistant and a bit malleable for most of the day, but we should actually be extra careful with it. Not a lot of us have been through a penile fracture, but it just so happens that I know a guy who knows a guy whose penis broke. I know what you’re thinking: “Hold the phone! Can it even happen?”
The short answer is: yes, it can break, but not the way you’re thinking. Let’s go through what really happens:
It’s not that it breaks, per se. What happens is that a rubbery tissue below the skin, called the tunica albuginea, tears. This tissue is extremely important, no only to men, but to humanity. With out it, a penis wouldn’t be able to stretch tightly during an erection, which means no reproduction, which means no humans. See what I mean?
Let’s say you are in the middle of coitus, if you will, when things get a little bit rough. A few twisty positions, maybe speed increases, maybe you hit something or someone where you didn’t mean to. If there’s a significant amount of pressure coming straight towards your erected junk, you’ll feel it, obviously. Suddenly you hear a crack, though. And according to science, there’s no way a fracture can happen without you hearing a loud crack. What’s cracking won’t be a bone, though, it’ll be a boner.
It’s unlikely but, what if it’s not all that clear whether if it was a fracture or not. First, you’ll lose your erection in an instant, but then will come some swelling and some very evident bruising, and when I say bruising I mean your genitals will turn into a blue and black shade you didn’t know they could turn into. Oh, and did I mention the pain?
Even if you’re not sure whether if it’s a fracture or just a jamming of the shaft, if this happens it would be in your best interest to make your way to the nearest hospital. I repeat: evacuate to the hospital! This is no minor thing. It’s called a penile fracture for a reason, and you’re probably going to need to be hurried into the emergency room to get surgery. If you’re fast enough, maybe you’ll avoid permanent damage, but it’ll hurt. A lot. For about a month.
@face_tats
Back to the tearing of the tissue: some causes for penile fractures are machines, cars, gunshot wounds, and sports. Unfortunately for humanity, though, the most common cause of all is sex. How can something so beautiful be the cause of such horrific suffering?
Well, it’s pretty obvious that we use it to its maximum potential during the physical act of love, and there’s many ways it can get hurt. I don’t want you to live in constant fear of this, but experts recommend avoiding doggy style and reverse cowgirl. Also, make sure you use enough lubrication at all times, and take it easy when having rough sex.
@86douchebaguettes
Also, it turns out that the more experienced you are in bed, the less likely it is that you’ll get injured, which makes sense. The more experienced you are, the less of an excited oversexed virgin you’ll be, and therefore, the less, shall we say, energetic you’ll be during intercourse. So, if you’re a desperate teenager reading this, just be a bit careful.
Rest assured, I’ve been cringing and biting my nails the entire time I was writing this. It hasn’t been a pleasant image, but hey, better safe than sorry.
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