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Home Lifestyle

What’s “Monkey-Barring” ? The Toxic Dating Trend You Need to Know About

Apparently some people need a safety net before they can commit to love.

Allison Vargas by Allison Vargas
August 19, 2025
in Lifestyle
Monkey barring relationships - what's “monkey-barring"? The toxic dating trend you need to know about

You’ve probably heard of ghosting and breadcrumbing. But now, there’s a new term making waves in the dating world: monkey-barring.

What is “Monkey-Barring”?

Coined by relationship experts, monkey-barring describes someone who clings to their current partner while secretly lining up a new one—like a monkey swinging from branch to branch without ever letting go. It’s not just shady; it’s considered a form of emotional cheating. People can get caught up in it without even realizing it, thinking they’re just “keeping options open,” but in reality, it’s hurting themselves and everyone involved.

@diaryofnairobisin

Monkey branchers don’t want love, they want security. Don’t let someone cling to you just to avoid their own emptiness. #datingredflags🚩🚩 #monkeybranchers #diaryofanairobisinglemom #toxicdating #monkeybranching Ever been monkey-branched?

♬ original sound – DiaryofNairobiSingleMom

Why Do People Do It?

According to relationship experts, people who monkey-bar often fear being alone and lack emotional maturity. Instead of facing the discomfort of ending a relationship or spending time alone, they jump into another one to avoid loneliness. Some do it because they crave constant validation, while others simply enjoy the thrill of romantic conquest. The problem? This behavior prevents real emotional connection and growth.

Monkey-barring is more common than you think. Social media and dating apps make it easy for people to keep multiple romantic options open, often leading to confusing, toxic dating dynamics. It’s a modern dating epidemic that leaves partners feeling insecure, manipulated, and sometimes heartbroken.

Monkey barring why - what's “monkey-barring"? The toxic dating trend you need to know about

Red Flags to Watch For

How can you tell if someone is monkey-barring? Common signs include:

  • Being emotionally distant while flirting with others
  • Avoiding long-term commitments or plans
  • Keeping dating apps active secretly
  • Spending more time on their phone than engaging with you
  • Excuses for secrecy or lack of transparency

These behaviors aren’t just annoying—they’re a sign that your partner may be prioritizing their own emotional safety net over honesty and loyalty.

Monkey barring red flags - what's “monkey-barring"? The toxic dating trend you need to know about

In the jungle of modern dating, monkey-barring is a behavior to watch out for. It’s rooted in insecurity and a lack of emotional honesty, and it can cause unnecessary pain in relationships. If you notice red flags, it’s okay to step back and prioritize your own emotional well-being. Swinging from relationship to relationship isn’t cute—it’s unfair to everyone involved.

Remember: real love requires honesty, respect, and commitment. If someone can’t give you that, it’s time to find someone who values you for you—not as a branch to cling to.


Allison Vargas

Allison Vargas

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