There are words I wish I could take back. Moments I’d do anything to relive, to ask for answers that I never received. To let go of those I resented for so long. It’s wrong to say that we’ve all known unrequited love. Because each of us hurts differently. Some move on easier. Others desperately try to find the logic in the inexplicable. And then there are a few who choose to place the pain in their hearts on to the page. It’s the confessions from their unresolved romance that then help the rest of us encounter some sort of understanding of what has happened.
The following poems are short reads that are full of the emotions that come with a love that never was, one that appeared to be full of promise, yet fizzled before it could be anything else. We can lose ourselves in their words and find solace in knowing we’re not alone in our feelings.
—
“Renouncement”
Alice Meynell
I must not think of thee; and, tired yet strong,
I shun the thought that lurks in all delight—
The thought of thee—and in the blue heaven’s height,
And in the sweetest passage of a song.
Oh, just beyond the fairest thoughts that throng
This breast, the thought of thee waits hidden yet bright;
But it must never, never come in sight;
I must stop short of thee the whole day long.
But when sleep comes to close each difficult day,
When night gives pause to the long watch I keep,
And all my bonds I needs must loose apart,
Must doff my will as raiment laid away,—
With the first dream that comes with the first sleep
I run, I run, I am gathered to thy heart.
“When You Are Old”
W.B. Yeats
When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.
—
“Appeal”
Anne Brontë
Oh, I am very weary,
Though tears no longer flow;
My eyes are tired of weeping,
My heart is sick of woe;
My life is very lonely,
My days pass heavily,
I’m wearing of repining,
Wilt thou not come to me?
Oh, didst thou know my longings
For thee, from day to day,
My hopes, so often blighted,
Thou wouldst not thus delay!
—
There are days when all the energy we use to come off as if nothing’s wrong makes our daily routine unbearable. We cannot smile because we’re focusing on not falling apart. It’s a delicate balance that keeps us together, and it doesn’t take much for it to shift. In order to function, we place all of our pain on to a song, movie, book, or poem. Our story then lives protected within another story, not unlike a prehistoric flower trapped inside amber.
—
“He Would Not Stay for Me”
A.E. Housman
He would not stay for me, and who can wonder?
He would not stay for me to stand and gaze.
I shook his hand, and tore my heart in sunder,
And went with half my life about my ways.
—
“I Am Not Yours”
Sarah Teasdale
I am not yours, not lost in you,
Not lost, although I long to be
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.
You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright,
Yet I am I, who long to be
Lost as a light is lost in light.
Oh plunge me deep in love — put out
My senses, leave me deaf and blind,
Swept by the tempest of your love,
A taper in a rushing wind.
“The Barrier”
Claude McKay
I must not gaze at them although
Your eyes are dawning day;
I must not watch you as you go
Your sun-illumined way;
I hear but I must never heed
The fascinating note,
Which, fluting like a river reed,
Comes from your trembling throat;
I must not see upon your face
Love’s softly glowing spark;
For there’s the barrier of race,
You’re fair and I am dark.
—
What happens when there’s no escaping the memory of the one who did not love you back? When each day comes with their presence or name you feel like you cannot escape the pain. The scar on your heart never seems to heal because you relive every difficult moment of indifference or rejection. It’s like being neck-deep in water, yet you can’t help but stay where you are: somewhere between drowning and gasping for air.
—
“Are you going to stay?”
Thomas Meyer
What was I going to say?
Slipped away probably because
it needn’t be said. At that edge
almost not knowing but second
guessing the gain, loss, or effect
of an otherwise hesitant remark.
Slant of light on a brass box. The way
a passing thought knots the heart.
There’s nothing to say.
“Be Near Me Now”
Faiz Ahmed Faiz
Be near me now,
My tormenter, my love, be near me—
At this hour when night comes down,
When, having drunk from the gash of sunset, darkness comes
With the balm of musk in its hands, its diamond lancets,
When it comes with cries of lamentation,
with laughter with songs;
Its blue-gray anklets of pain clinking with every step.
At this hour when hearts, deep in their hiding places,
Have begun to hope once more, when they start their vigil
For hands still enfolded in sleeves;
When wine being poured makes the sound
of inconsolable children
who, though you try with all your heart,
cannot be soothed.
When whatever you want to do cannot be done,
When nothing is of any use;
—At this hour when night comes down,
When night comes, dragging its long face,
dressed in mourning,
Be with me,
My tormenter, my love, be near me.
—
None of us can escape being hurt by love. Human emotion comes with an inevitable cost: to discover that your feelings are not corresponded. We can’t force people to feel the way we do. Honesty is the foundation of love. Why would we want someone to pretend they care? We can only be patient and hope that one day we find a person who sees and values our true selves.
Images by Matty Snaps
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