So last night you asked me what was wrong.
I’m sorry I didn’t give you an answer. It was never my intention to leave you hanging in an abyss of pure uncertainty.
The thing is I don’t know what’s wrong. But there has been something off the last couple of months. I’ve been afraid to think about it. Terrified, actually. Because the truth has been wandering through our house for a while now, yet we pretend we don’t see it.
You know what? Let me start by telling you a story…
I don’t know if you remember, or even know this, but I think I noticed you way before you noticed me. You were slumped in that chair, as your friend –the one who hates me for no reason– talked nonstop about stupid stuff. I thought you were so heroic for not rolling your eyes. I couldn’t stop staring. Maybe it was my glare that made you turn and look at me. I felt like a total idiot, but you just smiled.
I don’t know what was in that smile, or in my drink, but just then I felt something in me wake up. I didn’t hear your voice yet, and already I could see myself with someone like you.
I’ve been happy by your side. Believe me, I have. Even during the hard times. I’m grateful everyday for having you in my life.
Had it not been you, I don’t know if I’d been brave enough to let go of my worries and fears, so that I could allow you to see the real me. I will never forget that.
But it’s because I’m thankful that I need to be honest. We both do. For, as much as we’ve tried, everything that used to flow easily has become a task. Even our most intimate moments have become another boring routine we do because we feel like we have to.
Love should never be a task, never be forced. You taught me that. I don’t what happens now, what this means. But I’m positive that it’s time for both of us to search deep within ourselves for truth.
I will always have you in my heart, but I won’t keep you hostage next to me. Because love is free, and you taught me that too.
