Let’s be honest, for many people talking about sexuality is still taboo and it is even more so when talking about their own way of living and enjoying sexuality. To this, we must add that it is assumed that to have an active sex life, you need to have a partner but how wrong they are.
In the beginning, it was thought that sex toys, especially vibrator, was a device that could only be handled by experts to cure anything from a headache to female hysteria; fortunately, that idea changed and although now it is not as easy to find one of these toys in the appliance section as it was before, you can now choose your own device from the comfort of your home in any online adult store or, if you feel a little risky, go directly to the store as I did a couple of years ago and it was the best decision I could have made.
I know what it feels like to make the decision to buy your first sex toy. You feel a slight tingling in your stomach, “what will they say” goes through your head and once you are faced with so many options, you don’t even know which one to choose. You just grab the first one you see that’s within your budget, rush to the checkout and pay hoping no one has seen you, but really taking control of your sexuality and pleasure is nothing to be ashamed of. On the contrary! After all the benefits that having one of these naughty little toys gives you, all that is left behind and you wonder: “how could I live so long without trying it”, you want to tell everyone that they should try it too and you wish that talking about it openly was less of a taboo and more of a natural conversation because, in the end, everyone at some point in their life has sex or masturbates.
After I bought my first sex toy, a whole new world appeared before me. Starting with the basics, I learned to know my body, my likes, and dislikes and for the first time, I got to know the feeling of a real orgasm despite having had a couple of sexual partners.
But there had to be more benefits that maybe were not so logical or visible, that’s why I talked to Karimme Reyes, sexologist and founder of the Red de Sexologxs de Mexico who gave me many more reasons to say that having a sex toy was the best gift I could give myself.
“Most toys assure you in some way, orgasms. Being in this process makes your brain release chemicals like dopamine, and serotonin that keep you relaxed, content, and happy and it’s going to give you all these benefits naturally in your body,” Karimme told me.
As if that wasn’t enough, Karimme also told me that masturbating during your period helps relieve pain, and doing it with a toy can almost assure you that it will work completely, plus, let’s be honest, it would be less disastrous.
Another point I found important about the talk I had with Karime about sex toys was that knowing yourself helps you raise your self-esteem because it gives you confidence with yourself and with others.
“Knowing your body and being able to communicate it to the world is wonderful. Because obviously, the people you have a sexual encounter with don’t know what’s going on with you, so guiding them is great,” Karimme told me.
Ok, yes, all well and good, and now you want to try it yourself, but how do you choose a sex toy? Well, Karimme recommends that if you are a person with a vulva, the best thing to do is to start trying external stimulation toys, that is, vibrators, suctioners, or massagers. Forget the phallic shapes that believe that with penetration you will reach an orgasm – according to a study published by Pleasure Better, only 18% of people with vulva have indicated that they reached orgasm after vaginal penetration, and better focus on the clitoris, that small organ designed exclusively for pleasure (not for nothing is estimated to have more than 8 thousand nerve connections!).
“To buy your first toy, my recommendation is always going to be first your little hand so you can get in contact and feel what happens with your body. But I will always recommend a toy for external use, especially for people with vulva […] In the case of people with a penis, you should start with silicone masturbators that can be controlled by hand”, recommended Karimme.
So if you are curious to try new things, experience sensations, or simply get to know yourself better and improve your relationship with yourself, maybe it’s time to give yourself a good vibrator. If you have a partner, talk to her so you can incorporate it and break the monotony, at the end of the day, you are in front of a toy that is for fun and enjoyment.