The best choice for both of you is the realistic path, which is a clean breakup without hesitation.
There is a baffling moment in every breakup when you realize that, from that moment on, you won’t be talking to that person every single day. You don’t fully accept it right away. So the next day you text them to ask them what they’re having for breakfast, if they’re drinking enough water, or if their mom is feeling better after going to the dentist. When it was a long-term relationship that ended on somewhat good terms, never talking to them again seems impossible. Questions like, “Won't you talk to me ever again?” will come up, and you’ll have to answer yes, because the best choice for both of you is the realistic path, which is a clean breakup without hesitation.
Maybe you think there’s nothing wrong with remaining friends or talking from time to time. You’re both civilized adults, right? Sure, but if you remain friends, it's likely that at least one of you will still have feelings for the other person. If you were the one who broke up with them, you need to question your reasons for keeping in touch. Is it because you still care about them? Or because you haven’t found someone new and you’re feeling lonely? With lame excuses and justifications like, “We’ve been through so much,” you can end up being cruel without realizing it.
Overall, you shouldn’t take advantage of the fact that your ex might still like you. Many couples break up only to unofficially keep the relationship going with casual sex, which is a waste of time for everyone involved. I write “everyone” because, of course, at least one of you will start moving on simultaneously. Dating a new person while sleeping or hanging out with an ex prevents anyone from seeing the true potential of the new relationship. The best thing you can do, for yourself and for your ex, is getting out of the way, and giving them the necessary space and distance to forget you.
However, what if your reason to keep in touch is not loneliness but the fact that you miss them and you want to bring the relationship back to life? Well, the same logic applies to you. If you’re constantly stalking them on social media or if you’re always making up reasons to talk to them, you’re distracting yourself from new and better possibilities. By staying friends with them, you’re basically torturing yourself.
If the opposite thing happened, if the breakup was bad and you're still bitter about it, don’t waste time seeking revenge. Even if your kind of revenge is small, like posting a photo with a hot person that you barely know just because you want them to be jealous. You already invested a lot of time in a relationship that didn’t work. So why waste even more of your precious time on a petty vengeance? Delete them from social media already, and don’t let nostalgia or resentment blur your vision.
If you liked this article, you might also love:
Images by Karel Chladek.