A heartbreak is one of the worst experiences we can experience. That’s why it has inspired some of the most moving and relatable works of art in several disciplines. Poetry has frequently explored this topic, so it’s no surprise that there are many authors who have explored and tasted the bitter flavor of failed relationships. It’s quite common to find compilations of poems dealing with the loss and pain of breakups. However, most of them explore the moments of sorrow, forgetting that the process before heartbreak can be as relatable and sad as the breakup itself. For that reason, we’ve selected 10 poems that express and portray all those emotions we experience even before breaking up. Moreover, we’ll go a step further and see what happens when that failed relationship wasn’t really flawed, but actually a challenge meant to bring you closer with your loved one. In other words, we’ll also explore the possibility of reconciliation in the following poems. So, let’s get started!
The imminent moment
There’s a moment in every relationship that is about to end in which you just know that, no matter what you do, there’s no going back. No matter the causes, you know the imminent moment has arrived. You still have feelings for this person, but you can’t see a future with them anymore. As in Lowell’s poem, all those joys have become just a habit. They no longer seem as real as they used to be.
“A Fixed Idea” by Amy Lowell
What torture lurks within a single thought
When grown too constant; and however kind,
However welcome still, the weary mind
Aches with its presence. Dull remembrance taught
Remembers on unceasingly; unsought
The old delight is with us but to find
That all recurring joy is pain refined,
Become a habit, and we struggle, caught.
You lie upon my heart as on a nest,
Folded in peace, for you can never know
How crushed I am with having you at rest
Heavy upon my life. I love you so
You bind my freedom from its rightful quest.
In mercy lift your drooping wings and go.
Failed love
Then comes the real moment of making the difficult decision. You know you have to gather some courage to make that step, and even when you know it’s for the best, you can’t help but feeling devastated and afraid of what’s coming next. It’s the moment you realize you’re going to be by yourself again. It’s not that you can’t live alone, but you dread the fact of no longer being able to share your life with that person you still love, the one you counted on during those difficult moments. However, you know you can’t stay with them anymore.
“Neither of Us Is Happy” by Rupi Kaur
neither of us is happy
but neither of us wants to leave
so we keep breaking one another
and calling it love
The talk
So the real moment arrives. You must have that talk we all fear. You say your reasons, and with deep sorrow, you put an end to a relationship that gave you the best joys in your life but at the same time the greatest pain you’ve experienced. And all of a sudden you become a rollercoaster of emotions that take away that emotional balance you had. Was it the right thing to do?
“I Don’t Know What Living a Balanced Life Feels Like” by Rupi Kaur
i don’t know what living a balanced life feels like
when i am sad
i don’t cry i pour
when i am happy
i don’t smile i glow
when i am angry
i don’t yell i burn
Withdrawal
It’s done and, although you were sure this was the best thing for you, you can’t help but feel devastated. It seems as if you’ve lost all your will to do things and you just want to stay in bed forever or be with that person again. This craving makes you doubt everything. You’re trapped in your thoughts, and melancholy seems to guide all your decisions. Do you really want to live like this?
“I’ll Open the Window” by Anna Swir
Our embrace lasted too long.
We loved right down to the bone.
I hear the bones grind, I see
our two skeletons.
Now I am waiting
till you leave, till
the clatter of your shoes
is heard no more. Now, silence.
Tonight I am going to sleep alone
on the bedclothes of purity.
Aloneness
is the first hygienic measure.
Aloneness
will enlarge the walls of the room,
I will open the window
and the large, frosty air will enter,
healthy as tragedy.
Human thoughts will enter
and human concerns,
misfortune of others, saintliness of others.
They will converse softly and sternly.
Do not come anymore.
I am an animal
very rarely.
Anger
You’re so mad about how you feel. What was the point, then? Weren’t you so sure this was for the best? Even though you’re so sure you didn’t do anything wrong, you know all this rage is because deep down you want to move on but you fail at doing it. Recrimination starts, and then the only thing you can think about is how your mistakes ended the relationship, even if that’s not true.
“Never Give All the Heart” by W. B. Yeats
Never give all the heart, for love
Will hardly seem worth thinking of
To passionate women if it seem
Certain, and they never dream
That it fades out from kiss to kiss;
For everything that’s lovely is
But a brief, dreamy, kind delight.
O never give the heart outright,
For they, for all smooth lips can say,
Have given their hearts up to the play.
And who could play it well enough
If deaf and dumb and blind with love?
He that made this knows all the cost,
For he gave all his heart and lost.
Loneliness
With rage comes despair and loneliness. It’s impressive how with a world filled with billions of people you feel so alone. You’d love to see how this person is doing. Perhaps they’ve already moved on. Maybe they’re just as miserable as you are or completely indifferent. How can you love someone so much even when you know it’s no longer possible to be together?
“The More Loving One” by W. H. Auden
Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.
Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.
Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time.
Remembering the good times
You start going out again, and life seems a little better, but wherever you go, there’s something that reminds you of those moments you spent together. You can’t help but wonder if breaking up was a huge mistake. Even when you know you were having so many problems and there were issues that pushed you to make that decision, you just want to be together with that person.
“Be Near Me” by Faiz Ahmed Faiz
Be near me now,
My tormenter, my love, be near me—
At this hour when night comes down,
When, having drunk from the gash of sunset, darkness comes
With the balm of musk in its hands, its diamond lancets,
When it comes with cries of lamentation,
with laughter with songs;
Its blue-gray anklets of pain clinking with every step.
At this hour when hearts, deep in their hiding places,
Have begun to hope once more, when they start their vigil
For hands still enfolded in sleeves;
When wine being poured makes the sound
of inconsolable children
who, though you try with all your heart,
cannot be soothed.
When whatever you want to do cannot be done,
When nothing is of any use;
—At this hour when night comes down,
When night comes, dragging its long face,
dressed in mourning,
Be with me,
My tormenter, my love, be near me.
Taking the first step
Well, actually getting back together doesn’t seem like a bad idea. You’ve been thinking about it, and even when you’ve tried so hard to convince yourself you’re no longer in love, you know that deep inside the only thing you want to do is to talk to them. So, why not? The only thing is that you have to really think about it. You don’t want to go through this heartbreaking process again.
“I Do Not Love Thee” by Caroline Elizabeth Sarah Norton
I do not love thee!—no! I do not love thee!
And yet when thou art absent I am sad;
And envy even the bright blue sky above thee,
Whose quiet stars may see thee and be glad.
I do not love thee!—yet, I know not why,
Whate’er thou dost seems still well done, to me:
And often in my solitude I sigh
That those I do love are not more like thee!
I do not love thee!—yet, when thou art gone,
I hate the sound (though those who speak be dear)
Which breaks the lingering echo of the tone
Thy voice of music leaves upon my ear.
I do not love thee!—yet thy speaking eyes,
With their deep, bright, and most expressive blue,
Between me and the midnight heaven arise,
Oftener than any eyes I ever knew.
I know I do not love thee! yet, alas!
Others will scarcely trust my candid heart;
And oft I catch them smiling as they pass,
Because they see me gazing where thou art.
Hey… how are you?
Okay, it’s settled, let’s try it again. You just have to make the first move. Perhaps they’re already seeing someone, or maybe they’re just too angry to talk to you. Just send a casual text and see what happens. All your hopes depend on that single text and its reply.
“Reconciliation” by William Butler Yeats
SOME may have blamed you that you took away
The verses that could move them on the day
When, the ears being deafened, the sight of the eyes blind
With lightning, you went from me, and I could find
Nothing to make a song about but kings,
Helmets, and swords, and half-forgotten things
That were like memories of you — but now
We’ll out, for the world lives as long ago;
And while we’re in our laughing, weeping fit,
Hurl helmets, crowns, and swords into the pit.
But, dear, cling close to me; since you were gone,
My barren thoughts have chilled me to the bone.
The conversation
They want to talk, that must be a good sign, right? It probably is. You really need to clear your mind. This is your chance to set all things clear and open up about what you feel. You don’t want to engage in more fighting, just be honest. If it was your fault, take responsibility and say you’re sorry. If there was something you didn’t like about the relationship, this is the time.
“Our Many Never Endings” by Courtney Queeney
You entered the bedroom and fell to your knees.
I wait the rest of my life to hear you say, I made a mistake.
Inside my chest, a mangle.
Inside yours, a deflating balloon.
You took the vacuum cleaner, the ironing board, the dish rack
and left me some lint, an iron to scorch shirts, one chipped plate.
I would like to say at least we perfected
entrances and exits, like professional stage actors
honing their craft, but even that’s a fantasy.
Mostly on TV the lions ate the hyenas
but sometimes the hyenas
formed a posse, and tore a lion up.
Occasionally you came in out of the rain
and I was glad to have you.
The coffee
Well, that went great. If things go this good on the actual date, there’s a very good chance you can go back together. Don’t be nervous. It’s just a coffee. You’ve been wanting to see that person since the day you broke up, and it seems you’ve left things in good terms through those texts. You know this is a new start, but you can’t help feeling as if it was just the beginning. You couldn’t be more excited and sure that this is what you want.
“How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)” by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
Not all breakups end up in a nasty way. If you shared something so deep and intense with that person, it’s only normal to want to get back together. Breaking up and going back together isn’t really a proof of a failed relationship. Maybe it’s just a way to mature and see those things you have to work on to improve.
Images by @mfcorridan
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