Any closure implies an emotional journey that can be unbearable in its nature.
Grief can seem to last forever, and this is not an exaggeration. After losing something or someone that was close to you, the adaptation process can be extremely painful. The void we feel and the anguish that pushes us to run away and leave everything behind invade our minds, deteriorate our body, and exhaust our soul. Of course, every person lives this process in different ways, so it’s nearly impossible to know for sure how long it’s going to last. Closing a cycle depends on each individual’s emotional capacity and, sometimes, we have to recur to other sources to be healed.
Many think that getting a tattoo can be a great way to channel our emotions. It’s not a superficial option; in fact, it’s believed that getting a tattoo can be cathartic. Constantly looking at a design on your skin can work as a reminder of that you’ve managed to overcome. It doesn’t have to be a design directly related to THAT moment of pain, but something to remind you how you dealt with the situation and how you closed that painful cycle.
Overcoming loss and grief is done through five universal stages. While each phase can be very painful, they can help you value life and everything related to it. The first phase or stage is denial. It’s logical that the first step involves avoiding reality, so as we shy away from the pain, we weave stories to make ourselves better. Denying the situation and stubbornly waiting for the pain to finally fade away are completely normal.
Phase two is related to anger and wrath. Whether it’s anger caused by loss or by the world in general, hateful thoughts –and the sense of injustice and despair– become a constant in our everyday life. Even the ability to focus decreases due to the inner anger that stops us from moving forward.
Then, little by little, after expelling all the wrath, comes the third stage: bargaining. This is a moment where we focus our thoughts to understand what happened and, more importantly, what are the cons and pros of letting go and closing the cycle. You begin looking for a solution, and it’s precisely at this moment when therapy or extra activities –like sports, friends, and even tattoos– can help you understand your role in life.
With phase four, emotional grief, it would seem as if sorrow and negative emotions are coming back in full force. As we are overwhelmed by these emotions, for a moment we think we will never come back from this dark pit. This phase teaches us that emotions will always test our strength and in equal measure they help us understand that even with the passing of time, pain will always be there.
Then, with all the pessimism comes the light at the end of the tunnel, phase five: acceptance. This doesn’t mean giving up or losing interest, it’s a way to reorganize your mind and life. Closing a cycle will never be easy; in fact, life will never be the same. However, this doesn’t mean that you won’t be happy anymore; this process is a sort of a reboot that allows you to start a new life. Banging doors and entering new places is one of the favorable lessons we can learn from grief. Not everything is negativity.
Grief will end when all these phases are over, but there’s not a defined period of time for that. It can be months or even your entire life. However, it’s up to each person to do their best to get through it, to be open to forgiveness and progress. A reminder of this process on your skin will help you remember you can overcome it again.
Think about getting a design that symbolizes the duality of opening and closing doors. They will remind you that you’re capable of overcoming any kind of misfortune with strength and determination. They will also show you that you’re strong enough to accept new ways of life and how to close the doors of situations that can harm you.
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Give yourself the chance to close those cycles that are stopping you from moving on, but get something to remind you of all your achievements and carry them with pride. These tattoos can help you overcome your fears and will tell the world you’ve left behind all that was harming you.
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You can have designs that remind you of happy times. Moreover, you can get a bit nostalgic with the designs that marked your childhood. In the same way, tattoos can help you remember that the best company you can have is you.
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Sources:
Apoyo al duelo
Pinterest
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Translated by María Isabel Carrasco Cara Chards