Chappell Roan isn’t sugarcoating her thoughts on parenthood.
The 27-year-old singer, who’s been skyrocketing to fame with hits like “Hot to Go!”, dropped a truth bomb (or a brutal hot take, depending on who you ask) on the Call Her Daddy podcast last week.
“All of my friends who have kids are in hell,” Roan told host Alex Cooper. “I actually don’t know anyone who is like, happy and has children at this age. I have literally not met anyone who is happy, anyone who has light in their eyes, anyone who has slept.”
Cooper’s response? “This is not looking too good.”
Cue the collective nod—or gasp—from parents everywhere.
@callherdaddy There’s nothing like your childhood besties 🫶 @chappell roan ♬ original sound – Call Her Daddy
The Reactions: “She’s Not Wrong” vs. “Tone Deaf”
Roan’s comments struck a nerve. Some parents applauded her honesty, while others insisted she’s missing the bigger picture.
Team Roan: “Mothers Are Exhausted!”
“Mothers are so tired! It’s true.”
“49-year-old mom of grown children. You are not wrong, girl. Being a mom in this country is … rough.”
“I love my child with my entire heart, but everything she said was absolutely true for me.”
Team “Actually, Parenthood Rocks”:
“Happy mother of three here!”
“As tired as I’ve ever been, nothing has filled my cup more than the snuggles and giggles of my kiddos.”
“Completely tone-deaf. Parenting is hard, but it’s also the greatest honor of my life.”
So who’s right? Science has some thoughts.
The Parenting Happiness Paradox: Why It’s So Hard
Research suggests Roan isn’t entirely off-base—but the problem might not be parenting itself. It’s how America structures parenthood.
The “Happiness Bump” That Fades Fast
Studies show parents experience a surge of joy after a baby’s birth—but it often dwindles within a year. Why?
“It’s not the same thing as financial well-being, good physical health, or good emotional health,” says sociologist Jennifer Glass. The U.S. lacks paid parental leave, affordable childcare, and workplace flexibility, making parenting feel like an extreme sport.
See also: Helen Mirren’s Explosive Take: James Bond Should Never Be a Woman
The Patriarchy Tax: Why Moms Are Drowning
Glass’s 2017 research found that American parents—especially mothers—are unhappier than parents in countries with stronger social safety nets. The reason? A perfect storm of outdated gender roles, lack of institutional support, and economic pressures that leave moms bearing the brunt of the parenting burden.
Take the “Second Shift”—a term coined by sociologist Arlie Hochschild to describe the unpaid labor women do at home after their paid jobs. Even in dual-income households, studies show women still handle the bulk of childcare, housework, and emotional labor, turning “having it all” into “doing it all.” The mental load of remembering doctor’s appointments, school forms, and grocery lists? That’s still overwhelmingly on moms.
Then there’s the “No Village, No Sleep” dilemma. Unlike Norway—where parents report higher happiness thanks to subsidized childcare, year-long parental leave, and universal healthcare—American families are left to fend for themselves. The U.S. is one of only seven countries worldwide without guaranteed paid maternity leave, forcing many mothers back to work within weeks of giving birth. Add skyrocketing daycare costs (often rivaling college tuition), and it’s no wonder parents feel like they’re drowning.
And let’s talk about Capitalism’s Grip. Childcare in the U.S. averages over $15,000 per year per kid, while wages stagnate and housing costs soar. For many families, having a second child isn’t just exhausting—it’s economically unfeasible. The result? Parents—especially mothers—burn out trying to balance careers, bills, and the myth of “perfect” parenting.
“In the U.S., parenting is an individual responsibility, not a societal one,” Glass notes. “That’s a recipe for burnout.”
And until policies catch up, Roan’s exhausted mom friends might not be the exception—they might just be the norm.
See also: Adolescence Star Faye Marsay Quits Social Media Over Threats: «It Was Overwhelming»
The Verdict: Roan’s Right… But It Doesn’t Have to Be This Way
Is parenting inherently miserable? No. But in a system that expects mothers to do double the work with half the resources, Roan’s friends aren’t imagining their exhaustion.
Maybe the real issue isn’t kids—it’s America’s refusal to help parents actually thrive.
If Norway can make parenthood joyful, why can’t we? Until then, pass the coffee (and the babysitter’s number).
What do you think? Are parents really this unhappy—or is Chappell Roan missing the magic of raising kids?
