War is a delicate subject for many. I’m sure there will be some who disagree with me, but I do think that in most cases we could add the “stupid” adjective to describe them. If you really think about it, most of them are provoked by a nonsensical thirst for power, and even those fights meant to stop certain barbaric events and attitudes were tainted with greed and ruthlessness. The stories behind wars are as diverse as the number of victims they have left behind. Succession, love, revenge, political interest, reclamation of lands, and the list could go on and on. But there have been some with reasons that deserve a huge “WTF.” Here are four of the weirdest and most idiotic world conflicts in history.
The War of Jenkins’ Ear
One could say an ear is an essential organ, but is it so precious that it can lead a country to start a war with another? Well, apparently it is because, according to the story, the British marine Robert Jenkins appeared before the parliament in 1739 with his ear in his hands claiming that a Spanish captain entered his ship and took his ear as a punishment for smuggling. Naturally, such an offense like that was enough to declare war to Spain. As stupid as this may sound, in fact the conflict was just an excuse, since both countries had had a long lasting quarrel due to Florida and Georgia. The war wasn’t just a simple battle, and soon both countries participated in the War of Austrian Succession and the quarrel “ended” (at least for a while) with Maria Theresa’s ascension to the throne.
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The War of the Stray Dog
Dogs are cute and lovable, and in an attempt to catch his dog, a Greek soldier crossed the border with Bulgaria without noticing it, and this was seen as a terrible offense and a threat. What really happened was that, after the second Balkan war, during the early nineteen hundreds, there was a huge tension between both countries. Naturally, they saw this action of the soldier as an excuse to increase the hostilities, and in 1925 the war began. What started as a riot and shooting soon turned into a Greek invasion of some Bulgarian villages until an international committee made the countries negotiate a peace treaty, but the dog crossing the border caused the death of at least 50 people.
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The Battle of Karansebes
Word of advise, if you’re in war don’t get drunk. It was 1788 and the Austrians were in the middle of a war with Turkey. The Austrian army had found a place near the battlefront and a Turkish village, so they decided to set camp for the night. A group of scouts decided to wander around the outskirts of the village just for fun, and there they encountered a group of gypsies who were selling their products. Among these, they had a lot of schnapps, which the Austrian young men saw as an oasis in a desert. They obviously got a party started, and another group of soldiers tried to join them. However, the party boys didn’t want to share their treasure, and they maturely enough set a barricade and started a quarrel. At the beginning, it was kind of funny, but one of them got really mad and started shooting, which of course was replied with more bullets. Soon, things got out of control and confusion took over the camp. Some started shouting that the Turks were attacking them and panic began. When the real Turk army arrived ready to fight, they only saw around 10,000 bodies lying dead on the ground.
The Nika Riot
Sports can definitely spark any quarrel when fans get really excited. That’s what happened in 532 AD in Constantinople after a chariot race. These events were extremely popular at the time and people got really engaged in them as their main form of entertainment. Two fractions born from this sport called the Blues and the Greens, but they were really famous not for their passion for racing but for their barbaric behavior after each event. One day after a quarrel, the authorities arrested two members of both fractions and the Emperor Justinian refused to release the prisoners. As it rarely happens with rival groups, in this case, they gathered to create a huge force against the despotic power of the authorities. Soon the riot began, and what was once just a quarrel after a sporting event soon became a revolution against the emperor. Besides the liberation of their peers, they asked for a new emperor to rule them. However, their rage wasn’t enough to fight the huge and powerful imperial troops, and the quarrel took 30,000 lives.
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Despite our eagerness to prove we’re the most evolved species in the world, our behavior always proves us wrong. At the end of the day, we’re nothing more than instinctive animals that let themselves go for their nature without using any logic. Some of these cases are pure stupidity, and others a lame excuse to conceal the bloodthirsty intentions of war.
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