When we end a relationship we feel vulnerable, disappointed, and worried that we’ve made a mistake. It’s at this critical stage when we might find ourselves rushing into another relationship simply because we’re panicking about being alone. We’re not looking for a connection. We only want an anchor for our sanity, which is pretty unfair to the other person. Thing is, we might find ourselves in the opposite situation. There are ways to know when we’ve walked into a situation that’s not healthy or fair for either party. Here are some hints that you’re involved in a rebound relationship.
The constant need for affirmation might start as a cute gesture. You might feel that your partner is trying to establish your feelings for them. However, after a while it becomes unsettling that they seem to require you to spell it out for them so often. Yet, more than being your fault, this is proof of their insecurity. The conditions in which their previous relationship ended might have left them with doubts and their inadvertently using you to boost their confidence.
You may have established that the two of you are in an official relationship, yet they continue to pursue other people. Perhaps this is their way of seeking constant attention because you can’t be with them all the time to assure them that they’re loved.
They think that just because there is a bond of trust between the two of you, they can tell you the whole story of what happened between them and their ex. You can be sympathetic, but try to put boundaries to avoid getting bombarded with information that doesn’t help anyone. In the end, constantly hearing about their past relationship will only drive you apart. It’s important to always be supportive of your partner’s issues. However, it’s one thing to try and help them and another to become their therapist and counselor.
When they start a fight over absolutely everything, there’s a chance that they’re only with you while they get back together with their ex or they find someone they like more. It’s important to be clear about arguments so that you don’t become their temporary pet to help them with their emotional roller coaster. Despite some of the most obvious signs of a rebound relationship is the intense emotional attachment, some might use the cold shoulder or silent treatment to torture their new partner in the way their ex did with them.
Ever feel like your partner is becoming more and more like you with each day? When someone cannot get over their past, they’ll try to fit in and be accepted by their new partner at any cost. This includes mirroring them. You should talk to them and explain that you’re with them because of who they are, not who they’re pretending to be.
Anyone who realizes they’re in this type of destructive relationship should know that there might not be a happy ending. Sometimes the only thing we can do is being open to the fact that the person we care about is not ready to be in a relationship. Our greatest act of love could be to simply let them go and heal on their own, rather than enabling these behaviors. As for ourselves, we deserve to be with someone who doesn’t see us as a crutch but as a person they love. So, if you feel you’re one half of this kind of relationship, the best thing might be to walk away.
Two important questions about your relationship you need to ask yourself.
Being open to failure can make you brave enough to be successful.
Sources:
Vixen Daily
EPDH
Translated by María Suárez
Images by Maud Chalard
