Dating is hard. Let’s forget for a while about how nerve wracking the actual date can be, but the process of actually getting there can be quite complex. I remember how my younger self stupidly believed in everything I saw in movies and TV shows. I dreamt about casually walking down the street and accidentally crashing into a handsome and good hearted guy who would do the impossible to find me and live happily ever after. Well, probably not that cheesy… You know what? I’m not kidding. Yes, I really thought those things were real. With the passing of time, that fantasy was proven wrong. But I guess some part of me still wishes for a unique and romantic love story like those in the movies.
I don’t think these fantasies are only present in these stories. Whenever I hear the love story of my parents or my grandparents, I can’t help but wonder if something like that will ever happen to me. You must think I’m a hopeless romantic, and it might be true. But that doesn’t mean I blindly believe in love. Actually, not having found that special person kind of makes you realize so many things and makes you a bit cynical about relationships. Especially now with all the changes in the dating methods of our generation. There are tons of articles, images, or videos all over the internet claiming romance is dead and that technology is to blame.
Yes, technology and social media might have changed the way we relate to others. Now it’s more impersonal if you want, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that romance has been destroyed. I’d like to believe that it’s just a matter of evolution and transformation of personal relationships and that, instead of making sarcastic and sometimes hateful comments about the existence of love, we should really understand that just because the way we relate to others is different, it doesn’t mean we can’t experience a love as intense as those we’ve seen portrayed. Yes, those stories are not precisely real depictions of love, but the intensity and the passion do exist. I strongly believe it can be found, even through the digital world. These are the strategies I believe we should bear in mind when dating in today’s world:
Don’t depend entirely on technology
One of the basic problems I’ve noticed with acquaintances, or even myself, is that we don’t know how to draw a line between real life and our digital persona. I’m not saying that you must have a double identity. But it’s a fact that we act differently in real life compared to when we’re behind our screens. We’ve become so dependent on technology that we fail to do things on our own without feeling we have our gadgets and the Internet to back us up. If you opt for online dating or apps, think of them as tools to know people, rather than as roadmaps for a relationship.
Don’t think this isn’t real just because it’s happening in digital
Again, the line between these realities can be very shady. When we think about how we use technology to relate to others, we tend to diminish or undervalue them as not real. If you really want to be in the game, besides taking all the necessary safety measures, bear in mind that it’s not just a game. You can get equally involved in an emotional way both in real life or digitally.
Technology shouldn’t take away the romance
This is what I’ve been saying all along. Romance isn’t only the story of two people fighting against all odds to be together, or being attentive and having exaggerated gestures towards the other. Romance can be experienced in so many ways. Just because you might be starting a new relationship with the help of an app, or because of social media you’re connected with that person all the time, doesn’t mean that you can’t have a romantic story. Many use this as an excuse for their lack of attention, and actually there are so many ways technology can also be used for romance, which leads us to the next point.
Know exactly what you’re looking for
If you’re a hopeless romantic and you want that in your life, don’t settle for anything different. You don’t know how many times I’ve seen or listened that if something hasn’t happened it’s because you don’t change. We might alter our expectations if they’re unreasonable or just a product of fantasy, but still, we shouldn’t really settle for things we don’t really want. And this, actually, doesn’t only apply to romantic relationships, but for real life as well.
Don’t do what you don’t want others to do
Forget for a while about love relationships. This is a golden rule for life. Now, let’s go back to relationships. Sometimes technology gives us some sort of shield to do basically whatever we want. We feel indestructible, as if our acts didn’t have any consequence. But when someone does the same to you, that’s when the problems begin. Don’t lie about yourself if you don’t want to be scammed as well. This doesn’t mean you have to be an open book about your life. Just be yourself and share only what you feel like sharing.
The internet might have turned us into cynical beings when it comes to talking about love, but the thing is that it happens because we still believe in outdated conceptions of this emotion instead of seeing it as a reality that has changed just as we have.
If you want to know more about the influence of technology in our lives, take a look at the following:
“Tinderella Syndrome”: The One To Blame For Your Everlasting Singledom
Digital Infidelity: The New Way Of Cheating