TikTok thrives on surprising content, but sometimes those “quirky” videos reveal something darker about relationships. Recently with over 3.4 million views, a clip posted by user @kaitlynnjb showed her opening the lunch her husband had packed for her—only to find it was filled with random cookie bags, left over chipotle and dog food. With a written note that says “Because your are my dawg!”
Her reaction? Surprisingly calm. She laughed it off, almost as if this kind of treatment was normal. But for viewers, it was anything but funny. Comments flooded in pointing out that this wasn’t just a bad joke—it was a form of humiliation and disrespect, and potentially even emotional abuse.
Why It’s More Than a Joke
On the surface, some people may defend it as harmless humor. But experts on toxic relationships warn that acts like this can be classified as psychological violence. The act of giving your partner dog food is symbolic: it communicates that they are beneath you, that their dignity isn’t important.
What made the video even more concerning was the TikToker’s attempt to normalize it. By laughing, she minimized the seriousness of the act—a common coping mechanism for those who have been conditioned to accept disrespect in their relationships.
Weaponized Incompetence: A Hidden Form of Control
Beyond disrespect, many online viewers pointed out that this is also an example of weaponized incompetence. This term describes when someone pretends to be bad at a responsibility—like cooking, cleaning, or in this case, packing lunch—in order to avoid having to do it in the future.
By sending his wife to work with dog food, the husband may have been sending a message: “See? I can’t be trusted to handle this task.” Over time, this tactic pressures the other partner to take on more responsibilities, creating an unfair balance in the relationship. It’s not just laziness; it’s manipulation. It shifts the burden of domestic work onto one person while the other escapes accountability.
The Dangerous Normalization
Her casual response also speaks volumes. When harmful behavior is played off as “just a joke,” it normalizes disrespect. Victims often accept or downplay the humiliation because speaking up might lead to conflict, gaslighting, or more ridicule. But repeated “pranks” like this can wear down self-worth and make inequality feel normal.
It’s worth noting that weaponized incompetence is often invisible to outsiders. From the outside, it may look like someone is simply forgetful, clueless, or unskilled. But in reality, it’s a calculated way to shift emotional and domestic labor away from themselves and onto their partner.
Why Social Media Called It Out
The TikTok community didn’t stay quiet. Commenters were quick to connect the dots, calling the husband’s act both abusive and manipulative. The video sparked discussions not just about emotional violence, but also about the ways small acts of “joking incompetence” can create toxic patterns in households.
@kaitlynnjb Thanks Trev love you so much! Thanks for really putting thought into it…. Also I realized you clearly knew where the ziplocks were cause you used one for the dog food… #newteacher #teachertok #elementaryteacher #firstyearteacher #husbandwife
At its core, this isn’t about kibble. It’s about dignity, responsibility, and power. Packing dog food isn’t just tasteless humor—it’s a red flag of deeper issues like weaponized incompetence and emotional disrespect.
This viral moment is more than internet gossip—it’s a reminder to look closer at the behaviors we normalize in relationships. Because love should never mean accepting humiliation disguised as “a joke.”
