Suddenly, out of nowhere, and without even starting a conversation they open their mouths. You wish their voice would go on mute or just disappear. But it doesn’t. Instead their words are louder than ever as they drill into your head. They seem to fill the space, making the air heavy and tight. Things like breathing become a pain, and you can’t seem to be at ease. You’ve thought up a million ways to ask them to stop, so that they end their attention-seeking verbal diarrhea and their control over the conversation, keeping them from making anyone else uncomfortable and killing the overall mood with their nonsense. But because they never shut up, you’re unable to give them a piece of truth. So instead, you nod condescendingly, like everyone else, and try to escape to a safe spot, whether it’s to join a reciprocal interaction or just enjoy the silence.
If after reading the above paragraph you had a clear picture of someone in your mind, then you know what we’re talking about. It’s about that person that can’t seem to stop moving their lips, bringing up every memory, aggrandizing their present, and always having the best example. A human who shatters every social grace, who you seem to dislike more with every interaction and try to avoid at all cost.
But have you ever considered you might also be that guy?
Have you heard yourself lately? Do you talk too much or too little? You might also be one of those who just talk, talk, talk, and talk as if your life depends on it. And we’re sick of it. But you’re megalomania seems to shut your eyes to the obvious. The sound of your voice is clouding your thoughts. You might not notice it or you just can’t seem to help it.
You probably never meant to become this. And, to be honest, that person you fantasize about taping their mouth shut probably didn’t either. According to research from Harvard University, this psychological character flaw comes from a desperate need for approval, detrimental self-esteem, constantly searching for entertainment based on addictive self-centeredness.
According to the results of the research, those who do this don’t realize what they’re doing. They think of themselves as super social, articulate, interesting people who are the center of any situation. In truth they are antisocial loners who destroy groups and place their ideas above those of others. All while keeping a kind or intellectual tone that disguises their goals even from themselves. It’s a pity, really.
So, how do you realize if you’ve become one of the world’s compulsive talkers, those people who, because of this disorder, destabilize the rest of humanity? It’s simple, check if you match any of the following symptoms.
After a long moment of silence, you feel anxious and can’t seem to stop talking when given the least provocation.
You get annoyed when you’re not actively participating in a conversation.
You can’t seem to censure your comments, to the point of sharing incredibly personal details.
You reject anyone confronting your ideas in any dialogue.
No matter how many things you have to do, if you feel there’s something very important to say to search for the first person that crosses your way to spill it.
You often feel that using humor in your remarks makes them easier for others to process.
You notice the weariness in your listeners’ faces and try to regain their attention with a quick change of subject or tone of voice.
Though you’re aware, and feel slightly guilty at the whole thing, you make unnecessary comments that you didn’t think through. You just had to say something.
You can’t think of a story that isn’t yours.
You finish talking and there’s no one to comment on it or who feels like continuing the conversation.
Next time you’re talking to someone try to notice how long the conversation lasts and how much of it did you take up. Ideally we should listen as intently as we speak, but listening is a complicated task for anyone to accomplish. That being said, if you realize you did more than your necessary share of talking in your last conversation, you’re probably blabbing and are on a one-way ticket to being avoided by others around you (unless you already are).
Why is this happening to you? Scientists have discovered a link between this situation and disorders or syndromes similar to Asperger’s, anxiety, nerves, as well as people who are somewhat narcissistic or easily bored.
Translated by María Suárez
