Adult Events with or without Children… The Conversation Many Aren’t Ready to Have Yet

It's not that children aren't welcome; it's often a technical, logical, and even economic matter.

Isabel Cara

The matter of Adult parties children or without children, has become a great generational debate that always gives something to talk about. We’ve seen all over social networks posts and content about people being offended because their little bundles of joy are not invited to weddings.

This conversation has generated a huge debate; however, both positions have points in favor because not everyone understands the parents’ position, but also it’s understandable that hosts, who want a special day, such as a wedding, for example, want things to go as they always planned them.

Are Children Shunned… or Are These Events Not Suit for Them?

It is not that they are not welcome, many times it is something technical, even economic; let’s remember that to make a party like a wedding, for example, the payment is per dish. In itself, parties are expensive, and counting children is even more so. We also dread that the event we have organized for months or years does not turn out the way we want it to. Kids are known to be restless, and that’s okay, but that can sometimes get out of control.

Another big point is that these are events that children are not yet old enough to witness; there’s alcohol involved and things can get out of control easily. All in all, the atmosphere can be heavy for them.

Children invited adult events debate 2 - adult events with or without children... The conversation many aren't ready to have yet

In Favor of Children Being Part of Adult Events

1. Our children are part of our essence and, being the most important thing to us, we must combine wherever we go with their care and vigilance. They are part of us and are not something we can throw away.

2. Leaving our children with someone is complicated, expensive, and unpredictable. Not all of us have the possibility of leaving them with our partner, grandparents, relatives, or a trusted person who will take care of them, and that can let us feel 100 percent sure that they will be fine.

3. Children are also part of society, and why would we deny them participation in a joyful celebration, especially for people who love their parents?

4. Each guest’s situation is different, and hosts should understand this a bit, especially when it comes to close friendships.

Children invited adult events debate 3 - adult events with or without children... The conversation many aren't ready to have yet

Against Children Being a Part of Adult Events

1. My house, my rules. As hosts, we have every right to decide the characteristics of our parties. Sometimes, even if we don’t say so, we don’t want to deal with children running or crying all over the event. This can also cause unpredicted accidents.

2. Alcohol and what it causes should not be a spectacle for children. In fact, it is not, much less the adult conversations that may arise. No parent wants their child to see situations that are not appropriate for their age, not to say that they will not experience them at some point, just that it is not now that they should witness them.

3. We hosts look for a time for parents to be free from our arduous maternal or paternal responsibilities, and we don’t always see it this way. We are more than a mother or a father, and it’s okay to give ourselves a break to go out with our friends, without children, without responsibilities, at least for a few hours.

4. As we do at work, it’s okay not to take the kids to some events like weddings. It’s only for a few hours, and it’s okay to accompany our friends or relatives alone.

For or against, we agree on one thing: children are part of us, so both positions are in our and their best interests. But we are not ready to have this conversation… or are we?

Story written in Spanish by Kate Nateras in Cultura Colectiva

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